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(Has been trying to post an intro the last couple days, but it seems the connection is quite poor..)
Anywho, I am Zaphaera. This is the name I generally go by within the Otherkin community and what I prefer to be called as such.
I am an art student living with my girlfriend in Canada. I’m currently taking an illustration and concept art program here, though I grew up in a small town in northern NJ. I’m hoping to go into comics with my career, or see where this program takes me as I work on my skill as an artist. It is one of my favorite hobbies since I was a child, along with reptile husbandry, skiing, and ice skating.
As for my otherkinity, my primary identity is dragon. I have identified as one since childhood, having believed myself to be this way forever for the most part. However, I would say I had my spiritual awakening in the year 2007, as before this my being was up in the air and not thought about as deeply. It was not until after I began delving into spirituality, mainly shamanism, that I began to question my feelings more seriously and take note of them.
Even then, before such, I can recall the instances of my draconity quite clearly from the times that I had no idea what I was quite experiencing. I remember days that I looked at my skin, looking for the slightest inkling when the light hit it just right that I may see scales; the scales that I believed I should have. Or similarly, the days looking at my reflection in the mirror, focusing on my eyes and searching for the reptilian gaze I thought I should see looking back. Many other instances like these are my earlier and first experiences with my draconity, the oldest memories from my childhood I can think of.
Coming to terms with my draconity was a long process of introspection, questioning, and battling my own self doubts however. There was a time I kept searching for something else, even though dragon was what I had been feeling the whole time. Instead of skin, I felt I should have scales, I felt my phantom wings and my tail where I thought they should be, where they’d always been. My mentality throughout my life, also always shifted with being what I could not describe any better way than: dragon. This was never something that I wanted, what I tried to deny.. Yet in the end it’s just something that I am, and what I have come to believe my soul is.
I came across the term “dragonkin” one day in the year 2012 whilst browsing online, finding that it explained a lot of the experiences I was having, which led me to discover the Otherkin Community. From there I have been semi-active in a few places, moving around every so often, as well as learning more about myself. I can never learn enough.
Later on in my journey, I began to take notice of my second kintype, or rather fictotype. I have realized I have felt this one subtly throughout my life in the reality of it, though it wasn’t until around 2013-14ish that I made the connection to what I had I been feeling the entire time. I actually recall having my first phantom shifts to this back when I was around 7 or 8, when for some reason I had felt very strong familiarity with the jets in the film Top Gun. From then on I had always identified with jets, not exactly as one. It didn’t make sense to be a jet, that notion seemed ridiculous at the time. I never linked it to Cybertronians to start, but with time I put the pieces together.
I started to notice this more when I begun having phantom robotic legs, not just the random jet wings and dream shifts here and there. I had eventually linked all of my feelings and memories to the Transformers, but, me being me, I immediately jumped to the character I thought that I related to first, which was Soundwave at the time(completely ignoring/forgetting all of the jet feelings I had). Untangling the mess of phantom shifts and memory bits, I eventually figured out that I believe myself to have been Starscream in a past life. Taking everything to consideration this is where it had all added up and made sense. It felt right, just as dragon felt right.
Presently, I identify as both, as they make up who I am today. I am in a constant mental shift between these two aspects of myself. I do not experience mental shifting because of this, however, do slide between my phantom bodies. Recently, I have been questioning a third kintype, another fictotype. One that I am very skeptical of thus far. I’ve been questioning this for over a year now, and am still slowly figuring it out.(Note that I am aware fictional characters are designed for us to relate to them. This is not a relation, but someone I feel that I may have been in a past life) The character in question is Armitage Hux from the Star Wars franchise. My experience in questioning so far has been largely doubling back over supposed memories and strong inclinations that I’ve felt long before discovering this.
With all of that in mind, I have come to also identify myself as a starseed, feeling that I have lived most of my lives across the universe and that I originate from the cosmic astral plane in spirit. I do not feel like I have lived any other lives born on Earth, and feel that this human life is my first incarnation here. I possibly believe myself to originate from either the astral dimension surrounding the Orion or Pleides starsytem.
That is basically my story about who I am, and I look forward to meeting others with similar experiences, as well as different ones to. I’m always interested in discussing everyone’s unique beliefs and where their Otherkinity derives from.
"Ad astra per aspera" ☆ "Alis volat propriis"
Hi Zaphaera! 🙂 I’m still not entirely sure what was causing the problem, nothing appears to have shown up in the error logs, but I’ve taken some steps to try to improve performance on dreamhart.org, otherkin.net, and anotherwiki.org. Please let me know if you continue to experience any problems with any of these sites.
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