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Awareness
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Liryen
liryen

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Monday, 16th May, 2011 - 10:44 am
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Hey, ya’ll – not sure how many people are still reading at the moment, and I hope I don’t bore you half to death, but I wanted to start a new topic, so here’s something I’ve been pondering lately. Most of us have been cautioned not to automatically assume that every little personal quirk is an otherkin trait, nor to assign a kin type to each new discovery (demon-wolf-elf-taco-alien-ghost syndrome). Nevertheless, some are (apparently) extremely capable of recognizing how their otherness manifests in their daily lives. But for those who have the difficulty of not being able to define what’s genuinely otherkin-related in a sea of traits and possible mundane
explanations, how do you heighten self-awareness? Do you just “know” certain things, or is it harder to see yourself clearly against the backdrop of Everything Else?
Just wonderin’.

Liryen

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Ayaka Inu
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Tuesday, 17th May, 2011 - 3:41 pm
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For me it usually comes about seemingly second nature, but at other times it is hard to tell whether something is connected to my first life, or just coincidence. To summarize, it depends on the individual, and sometimes it can be obvious, other times cryptic.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

Liryen
liryen

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Wednesday, 18th May, 2011 - 7:10 am
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Ayaka Inu said:

For me it usually comes about seemingly second nature, but at other times it is hard to tell whether something is connected to my first life, or just coincidence.

*nods*. I guess for me, it’s hard to sense whether something is common or not, and whether certain preferences have their roots in my own personality/temperament or in an elven life. smile Out of curiosity, what are some of the things you’ve learned? 🙂

To summarize, it depends on the individual, and sometimes it can be obvious, other times cryptic.

Well, that’s kind of what I meant. I wonder if we would be surprised if we all saw ourselves clearly, if we saw our whole lives and their places in the larger “tapestry” of the universe. And I wonder how we can overcome some of the near-sightedness we’re all born with, expand our field of vision?

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Ayaka Inu
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Wednesday, 18th May, 2011 - 5:28 pm
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I can't really say I do not have that nearsightedness, but for me… I have more knowledge of my first life than this one. If I try I can remember all of my first life, but as I said, I am sure I still have a great deal to learn. If anyone is interested, I am actually in the process of writing a fairly large documentation regarding my first life, although I have no idea were to publish it, but if anyone wants to read part of it, it is a short bibliography of my first life. Also don't consider this to be me advertising, I just thought it would be valid, since it answers the question of what I have learned of my past. A shame that skills from my first life do not transfer as easily as memories.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

Liryen
liryen

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Thursday, 19th May, 2011 - 7:39 am
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Ayaka Inu said:

I can't really say I do not have that nearsightedness, but for me… I have more knowledge of my first life than this one. If I try I can remember all of my first life, but as I said, I am sure I still have a great deal to learn. If anyone is interested, I am actually in the process of writing a fairly large documentation regarding my first life, although I have no idea were to publish it, but if anyone wants to read part of it, it is a short bibliography of my first life.

If it’s short enough, you could probably post it in your LiveJournal or something. If it’s more like an e-book, you could convert it to PDF and upload it to Scribd. *shrugs*. Have you ever considered having a look at the therian community? I’m sure they would be able to give you better feedback than I could, with something like that.

Also don't consider this to be me advertising, I just thought it would be valid, since it answers the question of what I have learned of my past.

Not at all. 🙂

A shame that skills from my first life do not transfer as easily as memories.

*nods*. I think we’d all like to recover certain things we’ve lost. If you don’t mind me asking, what were some of your skills? 🙂

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Ayaka Inu
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Saturday, 21st May, 2011 - 12:55 am
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Liryen said:

*nods*. I think we'd all like to recover certain things we've lost. If you don't mind me asking, what were some of your skills? 🙂

I was quite agile, in fact I was the only one who could catch my more mischievous
daughter (I had three pups), but I never really put that to major use,
and I was not very strong, still that agility granted much more freedom
than two legs could ever yield, so I miss that, but I was on my peoples
council as a negotiator, so I suppose that is somewhat transferable, although there is not much to negotiate. Also on the subject of publishing, I have found deviantart to be sufficient and I took your advice and submitted a few pieces to therian groups there. So thanks.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

Liryen
liryen

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Sunday, 22nd May, 2011 - 10:45 pm
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Ayaka Inu said:

I was quite agile, in fact I was the only one who could catch my more mischievous
daughter (I had three pups), but I never really put that to major use,
and I was not very strong, still that agility granted much more freedom
than two legs could ever yield, so I miss that, but I was on my peoples
council as a negotiator, so I suppose that is somewhat transferable, although there is not much to negotiate.

I’m sorry, but I’m not sure if I fully understand all of the differences between White Wolves and modern wolves…did you live and hunt in packs? And if so, what was the purpose of a council?

Also on the subject of publishing, I have found deviantart to be sufficient and I took your advice and submitted a few pieces to therian groups there. So thanks.

Ah, deviantart…I’d forgotten about that. alien And it’s no problem. Again, I’m no expert on wolves, and you’re welcome to do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. 🙂

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Ayaka Inu
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Monday, 23rd May, 2011 - 12:04 am
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Liryen said:

Ayaka Inu said:

I was quite agile, in fact I was the only one who could catch my more mischievous
daughter (I had three pups), but I never really put that to major use,
and I was not very strong, still that agility granted much more freedom
than two legs could ever yield, so I miss that, but I was on my peoples
council as a negotiator, so I suppose that is somewhat transferable, although there is not much to negotiate.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I fully understand all of the differences between White Wolves and modern wolves…did you live and hunt in packs? And if so, what was the purpose of a council?

Also on the subject of publishing, I have found deviantart to be sufficient and I took your advice and submitted a few pieces to therian groups there. So thanks.

Ah, deviantart…I'd forgotten about that. alien And it's no problem. Again, I'm no expert on wolves, and you're welcome to do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. 🙂

White Wolves would technically be incorrect, I just use the term because we looked like wolves with white fur, and our language would not be possible with any form of writing or typing, as it was never a written one. We were a sentient species of wolves, but the council, along with the more complicated subject of how we existed in this plane is difficult to explain in one post, which is why I was publishing writings. Once again not advertising just valid: http://ayakainu.deviantart.com…..y/30305606 contains all the current documentation. There are still blanks to fill in, either from one or to memories that have been repressed or more documentation on one more wolf I was close to (more than just close actually).

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

Liryen
liryen

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Tuesday, 24th May, 2011 - 11:28 am
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Ayaka Inu said:

White Wolves would technically be incorrect, I just use the term because we looked like wolves with white fur, and our language would not be possible with any form of writing or typing, as it was never a written one. We were a sentient species of wolves, but the council, along with the more complicated subject of how we existed in this plane is difficult to explain in one post, which is why I was publishing writings.

Thank you for sharing them with us. smile

Once again not advertising just valid: http://ayakainu.deviantart.com…..y/30305606 contains all the current documentation. There are still blanks to fill in, either from one or to memories that have been repressed or more documentation on one more wolf I was close to (more than just close actually).

*nods*. Mine are mostly repressed; I just have “residues” of memories, so to speak, which help guide me towards what feels right. Since you remember so much of your first life, have you found an effective method for working through amnesia, that you can call upon?

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Jarandhel Dreamsinger
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Monday, 6th June, 2011 - 1:00 pm
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Liryen said:

Most of us have been cautioned not to automatically assume that every little personal quirk is an otherkin trait, nor to assign a kin type to each new discovery (demon-wolf-elf-taco-alien-ghost syndrome). Nevertheless, some are (apparently) extremely capable of recognizing how their otherness manifests in their daily lives.

For me, that's one of the things I find memory-work useful for.  If something from this life was not a big part of my life then, nor of the culture I remember, then it's pretty unlikely to be a trait associated with that aspect of my otherness.

I can also see what traits (if any) have remained relatively constant across all of my lives, or a subset thereof, and which ones change frequently from life to life.  That gives me a better idea of what's “just me” and what's the product of my environment/culture/biology/energetics from a particular life.

Without those memories to provide context, I really don't see how one can honestly say something such as “I am drawn to x because I am y” in most cases rather than just “I am drawn to x”.  There are, of course, some exceptions; vampirism in all of its forms being one that jumps to mind.  In cases like that where one needs to perform a specific act in order to maintain their mental/physical health, that normal humans do not require and which is not merely psychosomatic, then I can see saying that it is because of one's nonhuman nature.

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Ayaka Inu
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Liryen said:

*nods*. Mine are mostly repressed; I just have “residues” of memories, so to speak, which help guide me towards what feels right. Since you remember so much of your first life, have you found an effective method for working through amnesia, that you can call upon?

In terms of getting through the few areas which amnesia is a problem, I have not really come to any conclusion as to a specific method, but most of the time I do manage to access one, it is either fragmented beyond repair or to traumatic to continue accessing further. In the past, when I have accessed the traumatic repressed memories I have ended up near death for weeks trying to repress it again. The fragmented ones simply raise questions in my mind, questions I can never seem to answer, these memories I suspect are some of the most ancient and instinctive levels of my ancestral memory, not even meant to be accessed normally.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

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Jarandhel Dreamsinger
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Monday, 6th June, 2011 - 4:23 pm
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Ayaka Inu said:

In the past, when I have accessed the traumatic repressed memories I have ended up near death for weeks trying to repress it again.

How does one end up “near death for weeks” from a traumatic memory?

 

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Ayaka Inu
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Tuesday, 7th June, 2011 - 12:48 pm
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Near death as in not eating or sleeping enough, more like a hazardous psychological state, essentially a state of shock.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

Liryen
liryen

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Wednesday, 8th June, 2011 - 7:22 am
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Ayaka Inu said:

Near death as in not eating or sleeping enough, more like a hazardous psychological state, essentially a state of shock.

Ayaka, apologies if this comes across in a rude way (it isn’t intended like that), but are you seeing someone for your physical/psychological health? I’m aware from reading your materials that you’ve been through quite a bit in a short time period, and therapy is usually a good idea after traumatic experiences. I say this not because I think I’m perfect but because I’m dealing with issues that relate to my past, heredity (i.e. anxiety), etc. There have been plenty of times where I’ve wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep and wake up somewhere else, and when I didn’t eat often because it was such a dull thing to do, and moments of low self-esteem. But none of those “solutions” help the depression, we have (technically speaking) a mental illness. It’s your choice with the time you have left (although you never know for sure), but if I were in a similar situation it’s what I would do. Heck, I should be doing it anyway.

I’d like to stress that this isn’t meant as an insult or personal attack; it’s just a suggestion.

Liryen
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Wednesday, 8th June, 2011 - 8:20 am
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Jarandhel Dreamsinger said:

For me, that's one of the things I find memory-work useful for.  If something from this life was not a big part of my life then, nor of the culture I remember, then it's pretty unlikely to be a trait associated with that aspect of my otherness.

*nods*. I guess what it really comes down to is accepting what you can’t change without memories.

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Ayaka Inu
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I understand what you mean, and don't worry I don't take it as insulting, on the contrary you are quite correct, and I have seen a psychiatrist in the past (It was recommended, I wouldn't have gone if I could have avoided it.), but they misunderstand, I am not depressed, in fact I am quite happy most of the time, it is only when I try to access or accidentally access one of my traumatic memories that this occurs, and I have become better and better at stopping that from happening. In actuality the fact you mentioned it, and that you have had similar factors influence you as well is more reassuring than insulting, so thank you.

http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_ayakainu.png

"Staring into my eyes, they can't comprehend what it is that they see, is it a being, or is it just an illusion, they wonder if they even really exist, or if they are just figments of my dream..." -by Ayaka Inu

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