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Awakening
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Jarandhel Dreamsinger
Arlington, VA

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Monday, 7th June, 2010 - 11:47 am
Member Since: Friday, 20th June, 2008
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I don’t have anything new to post here at the moment, so I’ll just link to three things I’ve already written that deal with Awakening, as a way to get the ball rolling.

Awakening: Jarin Dreamsinger – This is an essay I wrote when I was new to the community, about my awakening as it first appeared to me.  It was written probably a few months after I started to Awaken, though I can’t recall the exact date at this point.

Awakening – An updated version of the above essay, written with the benefit of hindsight and a greater context in which to understand my experiences.

Awakening (Dragon) – An account of awakening to memories of a dragon life, written fairly quickly after having the awakening in an attempt to get it all down on paper somewhere.  I’ve learned from experience that while these memories seem fresh and vivid while you’re first recalling them, and even while you’re talking with people about them in that initial burst of excitement, over time they fade like any other memory.

So, those are three stories of two of my awakenings.  Anyone else care to share theirs? wink

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technobushi

Ancient of Days
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Fambly
Monday, 7th June, 2010 - 12:07 pm
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You have such unique and original titles for your essays, Jarin.

I’m not sure what or how I would write about my experiences.  I wouldn’t call my own situations “awakenings” so much as gradual processes by which I realize my own parahuman condition.

~Tenshidoom

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Jarandhel Dreamsinger
Arlington, VA

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Monday, 7th June, 2010 - 12:17 pm
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*grins* I hate naming things.  I suck at it.  Even essays. wink

And I imagine you being a walk-in makes your situation very different, too.  Not all of your past lives are fully past, exactly…

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technobushi

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Fambly
Monday, 7th June, 2010 - 12:43 pm
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Jarandhel Dreamsinger said:

*grins* I hate naming things.  I suck at it.  Even essays. wink

And I imagine you being a walk-in makes your situation very different, too.  Not all of your past lives are fully past, exactly…


 

No.  The one I most recently came from just flows into this one.  However I will say there are large memory gaps.  Amnesia to a degree.  Even for this life, but.  I think we discussed some of that last night already.

~Tenshidoom

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Claude

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Monday, 7th June, 2010 - 2:25 pm
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technobushi said:


 

No.  The one I most recently came from just flows into this one.  However I will say there are large memory gaps.  Amnesia to a degree.  Even for this life, but.  I think we discussed some of that last night already.

~Tenshidoom


 

Similar here. In fact I have reason to suspect that we didn’t even technically die in the other place but just moved elsewhere again…being here. That didn’t prevent a lot of initial amnesia though, and uncertainty on who and what we were, etc. Walk-ins here generally experience very heavy amnesia upon arrival, and some of those knowledge gaps are filled over time, while others never are.

Liryen
liryen

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Tuesday, 25th August, 2020 - 12:41 am
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In all honesty, reading through these awakening stories (Jarin’s, but also the ones on the old ORC) kind of makes me sad. Not because I don’t like them, but because I feel like they’re so different from mine. And that makes me feel like maybe I was wrong about the whole thing from the start. Or like I’m dumb and there’s something glaringly obvious that I just can’t see. 

My childhood was…complicated. A little overly sheltered, sometimes troubled in parts, but mostly I was happy and well cared-for. I don’t know if I always had a feeling of being “different”. I do remember sometimes feeling a little alienated or dissatisfied with the answers to my questions in the religion I was raised in – especially as I kept getting older, I was a kid who had questions about life that the adults around me didn’t always seem to be interested in. My parents were, still are, conservative Christians (dad in particular.) Even though they didn’t want me to go to public school or anything like that, we were close to my mom’s parents, who were (and still are) kind of agnostic/atheist. 

I grew up in the suburbs during the onset of the stranger danger era, so I wasn’t one of those kids who would play outside in the woods and talk to fairies or whatever. I don’t remember early psychic or magical experiences. Internet was dial-up, and we seldom had cable TV. 

As far as I can recall, I think I was around 12 when I became interested in elves, and I had this fantasy of…like…turning myself into an elf through the power of the mind. Sometimes I would pinch the tip of my ear in hopes that it would become pointed, or late at night I’d close my eyes and try to “will” my hair color to change, and just stuff in that vein. Looking back, I don’t really know what to make of it. I don’t know if it was a normal part of the early awakening process, or if it was a remnant of a past life where I could change my shape, or if I was just being an awkward wishful kid who wanted to be beautiful, the way some girls later succumbed to vampire-mania during the Twilight craze. 

Today I don’t really know anymore. Over the years I’ve talked with some interesting folks, had some unique experiences sampling different Elenari energies at gathers, had confirmation from others that I scan that way to them. But unlike Jarin and Arhuaine, and others, I have not been able to remember. I don’t know if I’m not “real” or just different. Or maybe I wasn’t really born into this body but instead walked-in at some point and I have that type of amnesia that technobushi mentioned. I don’t know what went wrong where I seemed to start waking up and then couldn’t anymore, unless I’m just a big fat wannabe. 

I also don’t really have a strong sense of what my soul’s trajectory here on Earth has been over multiple lifetimes, or how I ended up here in the first place. 

I wish I had a better, happier awakening story to tell. I would say “maybe someday”, but after all these years I’ve lost the optimism I used to have about that. sadI don’t fully fit either in the mundane world or in the otherkin world (which, to be fair, in 2020 is not always an entirely bad thing.) But I wish I did. Sorry for the necropost.

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