Frankly, this document exists because I am generally dissatisfied with the other otherkin FAQs currently in existence.  Many have not been updated in any meaningful sense for years, others strike me as woefully incomplete.  Worst, most seem to have a penchant for addressing the wrong questions.  And I’m not too fond of many of the answers given either.  This FAQ is my attempt to address these problems.

While there is overlap between the otherkin community and other communities such as vampires, therians, and starseeds (among others) the details of those additional communities are outside the scope of this FAQ.

This FAQ was last updated on [updated_date].  Please feel free to suggest any additions, corrections, or changes in the comments section at the bottom of the page.

What Are Otherkin?

That right there is probably the question most people who read this FAQ would like addressed.  What are otherkin?  I’m sorry to say that you’re probably not going to find a straight answer on this one.  That’s not because people don’t want to give you one, but because no one has ever been able to get the members of the otherkin community to agree on a single definition.  Oh, many have been proposed over the years but they always seem to leave someone out or else include members of other groups.

One of my favorites is this, from the old Otherkin Resource Center webpage (now defunct):

Main entry: oth•er•kin
1 : one who identifies with various mythological archetype as vehicles of spiritual evolution and self-expression, similar to Native totemism only with a stronger level of self-identification.
2 : someone who believes in reincarnation, and that not all of their reincarnations were as a human.

Another method of defining the term otherkin is to look at the word literally: otherkin are “kin to the other”.  I’ve written an extensive essay on that interpretation of the term, which may be found here.

There are many more definitions, of course.  Most of the popular ones can be found in the other FAQs referenced in the Additional Resources section of this FAQ.

Ultimately, however, otherkin are the people who choose to be members of the online otherkin community, the wider otherkin subculture, and/or self-identify as otherkin.  That’s the only 100% accurate definition of the word otherkin.

How do I know if I’m Otherkin?

A lot has already been written on this subject in the community, and the related question “What kind of kin am I?”  But, quite frankly, I think most of it is bullshit.  At best, you’ll be told to do some soul-searching.  At the very worst, you’ll be told to look at a checklist of supposedly otherkin traits and see how many you match up against or to get someone to take a look at you on the astral.  None of the answers given to this question are all that useful, in my opinion.

My advice?  Explore the community.  Meet as many otherkin of various types as you can.  Get a feel for the ones that seem genuine and clueful.  Read what they have to say about themselves, their experiences, their memories.  See if anything strikes a chord for you, if anything “resonates”.

If not?  No harm, no foul.  There’s nothing shameful in not being otherkin, and frankly it may make your life easier if you’re not one.  But if something does strike a chord?  Ah, that’s where things start getting interesting.

First off, don’t jump to conclusions.  Resonance means there’s an affinity there, but it doesn’t tell you a thing about the nature of that affinity.  And you can resonate with elements of fiction just as easily as you can resonate with genuine accounts of nonhuman experiences or memories.  I resonate strongly with the Minbari of Babylon 5, with the Taelons of Earth Final Conflict, and with the Tayledras of Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series.  All three of these groups are fictional, and I do not believe that I was or am any of them.  But each of them has qualities that remind me of my elven life.  They resonate with that in me which is elven.

If you find something you resonate with, explore it.  Find out more about the group described by that source, and see how much of what you learn continues to resonate.  It may be that certain specific things resonate with you, while others do not.  For instance, while there are elements of the history, language, and culture of Tulari elves which resonate with me there are many other aspects which feel completely alien.  This is to be expected, as my own elven life was not among the Tulari.  It was among another group of elves that might be considered a cousin to them on a world called Alorya.  Use those feelings to guide you in your own search: resonance to steer you towards things you should look into more deeply, and the feeling of alienness to warn you not to go too far off course.

That’s how you’ll figure out if you’re otherkin, and if so what kind(s) of kin you are.  Because when you find the right ones, there won’t be the feeling of alienness.  Just more and deeper layers of resonance for you to explore.

That’s my opinion, anyway.  If you’d like other perspectives on how to know if you’re otherkin, and how to find out what kind of otherkin you are, there’s a whole section on the subject in the Directory of Otherkin Writings linked to from the Additional Resources section at the bottom of this FAQ.

Where do I find other Otherkin?

If you’re new to the community, this is probably one of your biggest questions.  The short answer is: online!  The internet is, hands down, the best place to find otherkin.  Even if you’re looking for a real-life, face-to-face meeting the internet is probably the best place to arrange it.  Below is a non-comprehensive listing of major places to meet otherkin online.  More can be found here.

Mailing Lists

KinFrontiers: Originally the “advanced” discussion section for a trio of otherkin-themed lists, this list hosts general otherkin discussions at this point.

Lostkin Project: A mailing list for otherkin who have no memories of nonhuman lives, but who don’t believe this life was their first.  Searching for reliable and repeatable methods of Awakening their true selves.

NewKin: The “basic” list from the aforementioned trio.  If you’re new to the otherkin community, this is probably where you want to start out.  The intermediate/general discussion list is now defunct and KinFrontiers has taken over that role in addition to advanced discussions.

WanderingPaths:  My own list, for general otherkin discussions from the very basic to the advanced.

Unfortunately the selection of otherkin mailing lists is not what it once was.  At this time, these are the only active general otherkin mailing lists I can recommend.  More lists, generally species or region specific, can be found here.

Forums

Dreamhart.org Forums: My own forums, dealing with otherkin and the esoteric.  Everyone’s welcome.

Embracing Mystery: Another otherkin and esoteric forum.  Fairly long-standing, it’s been around since 2005.

Ethereal-Forest: A general otherkin forum.  Relatively new, but fairly active.

Otherkin Alliance: Another general otherkin forum.  This one’s been around since 2005 and is still going.

Otherkin Retreat: A pretty friendly otherkin forum.  Fairly active, too.

Otherkin.com:  I honestly can’t recommend this forum, but it’s prominent enough that I felt I should at least mention it.  Beyond that, I’m not going to review it; I invite you to visit it and the other forums on this list and make up your own mind.

The Orange Grove: Hands down the most unusual theme for an otherkin forum I’ve ever seen, but it’s active and has been going since 2008.

The Otherkin Community: Forums for a community website run by an otherkin nonprofit.  I’m normally a bit wary about otherkin organizations, but so far this one seems benign to the best of my knowledge.

A more comprehensive list can be found here.

Community Journals

Otherkin Dreamwidth Community The main otherkin community on Dreamwidth.org.

Otherkin Livejournal Community The main otherkin community on Livejournal.com.

Otherkin Haven Dreamwidth Community A Dreamwidth community for otherkin which attempts to provide its members with a safe haven, free of drama.

Otherkin News Livejournal Community A Livejournal community which posts regular updates about developments in the community and news which may be of interest to otherkin.

Otherkin Writings Dreamwidth Community A Dreamwidth community hosting writings about otherkin “as an experience and identity”.

A more comprehensive list can be found here.

IRC Channels

#Otherkin on Anthrochat Pretty much is what it says on the label.

#OtherBeings on DalNet  IRC Channel affiliated with the Otherbeings.org website.

#OtherCreatures on DalNet  An IRC channel for Otherkin and “Invisus” of all sorts.

#Draconic on Draconic An IRC channel affiliated with Draconic.com.

#Draconity on Draconity An IRC channel affiliated with Draconity.org.

#Spiritual on EsperNet An IRC channel for otherkin, weres, therianthropes, religious and spiritual people of all sorts.

#Ethereal-Forest on Ethereal Forest An IRC channel affiliated with the Ethereal-Forest.net website.

#Otherkin on Ethereal Forest  Again, pretty much what it says on the label.  In the interest of disclosure, I am an op on this channel.

#GryphonGuild on FurNet An IRC channel for those who love gryphons, or are gryphons at heart.  Similar to AFD but for gryphon-lovers and gryphon-kin rather than dragon-lovers and dragon-kin.

#Otherkin on FurNet Another one that is exactly what it sounds like.

#Spiritual on FurNet Another IRC channel for otherkin, weres, therianthropes, religious and spiritual people of all sorts.

#Dreamhart on MibbitNet The IRC channel affiliated with Dreamhart.org.  Obviously, I’m the channel founder on this one.  There’s also a web interface available here.

#Lobby on OtherkinCommunity An IRC channel affiliated with the OtherkinCommunity.net website.

#OtherBeings on PsionicsInstitute Another IRC channel affiliated with the Otherbeings.org website.

#AFD on SorceryNet The Alt.Fans.Dragons IRC channel.  Historically AFD has been frequented by many dragonkin, as well as more conventional fans of dragons.

#Lobby on TheLostWay Main IRC channel for a server dedicated to “indigo children & adults, starseeds, intuitives, otherkin, real vampires, elementals, lightworkers, wayshowers, empaths etc.”

#Crossroads on TherianNet General discussion channel for therian.net.  Primarily therian-oriented, but otherkin are also welcome.

These are all of the currently-active public otherkin IRC channels I know.  If you know of more, please let me know in the comments section below.

Non-IRC Chats

Motley’s House of Kin: Web-based chat every Thursday, or whenever people show up.

GratuitousNonhumanty: DeviantArt otherkin group with a reasonably active chat.

These are, again, all of the active non-IRC otherkin chats I know of.

Meetups

These change frequently.  Here is the list of all the ones I currently know of, but I highly recommend checking Meetup.com yourself for others, as well as the regional mailing lists and community journals.  Maybe even consider starting your own.  If you go that route, you may find the advice here and here helpful.  Though they’re written for the BDSM community rather than from an otherkin perspective, many of the same concerns apply.  These two articles might also be useful for those considering going to a meetup for the first time.  Again, they’re written for the BDSM community rather than from an otherkin perspective, but many of the answers would remain the same.

If you’d like others in your local area to find you, you may also want to create a profile in Otherkin.net’s Otherkin Directory or Dreamhart.org’s Otherkin Directory.

Gathers

A Gathering Echo: Annual Texas Based Gather in September.

Crossing the Thresholds: Annual Pennsylvania Based Gather in September.

Mythicalia: Annual California Based Gather in September.  Currently on hiatus while the organizer determines if there is sufficient interest to continue it.

Summer Gateways: Annual Texas Based Gather in May.

 Walking the Thresholds: Annual Pennsylvania Based Gather in June.

These are all of the recurring otherkin gathers of which I am currently aware.

Face to Face

This section is here as a caution.  Just because someone is otherkin doesn’t mean they are nice.  Just because you remember them from past lives doesn’t mean you know what they’re like in this one.  If you decide to meet with an otherkin you met online, or even at a public meetup or gather, please plan for your safety.  To the best of my knowledge there are no otherkin-specific articles that have yet been written on this subject but I highly recommend two articles from the BDSM community on the subject of safety when meeting people offline that can be found here and here.  The vampire community has also written a good guide here.

Any advice for someone new to the community?

Use discretion when discussing your Otherness.

Basically, don’t shout that you’re otherkin from the rooftops.  Your mundane family, and you, may be a lot happier if they don’t know you’re a dragon than if they do.  Your coworkers?  They probably don’t want to hear about your past life as an elven princess.  Same with your classmates, teachers, friends, etc… they don’t necessarily need to know about this aspect of your life.  Pick and choose who you tell carefully.  Be sure it’s someone who will react well, and be sure you have a solid reason for telling them.

In the same vein, don’t run around online announcing your otherness in non-otherkin venues.  The nice people over on wicca.com would probably like to talk about Wicca and not about how you’re one of the Tuatha de Danaan.  And people in places like GaiaOnline would probably like to just play their game and not be bothered with other members spiritual beliefs.  Would you like to hear the Christian players proselytizing?  It’s not nice to non-consensually involve bystanders in your spirituality.

Last, steer clear of the media.  I can’t emphasize this enough, steer clear of the media.  I don’t care how sympathetic and understanding the reporter sounds, or how big a chance it is to finally get our side of the story told, it *never* actually works out that way.  You will get manipulated, you will get misquoted, and the otherkin community will be treated in a manner that is sensationalist rather than serious.  Just say no when it comes to participating in any form of media on the basis of your Otherness.  And that goes triple for “Reality TV” of any kind.  That said, if you absolutely positively cannot avoid giving an interview, here’s some advice on do’s and dont’s from the vampire community, the pagan community, and even the furry community.

You’re still allowed to apply critical thinking.

Finding out you’re otherkin is a pretty jarring experience for one’s worldview.  If you never believed in the existence of dragons, it can be a shock to learn that you are one.  Because of this, many otherkin completely abandon what they consider to be a mundane worldview in favor of a new, magical one.  And sadly, this often means leaving science and rationality at the door.

Because of this, and exacerbated by a general tendency towards being accepting of everyone’s beliefs, there’s a high level of bullshit floating around the otherkin community.  I could spend a lot of time listing what I consider to be examples of this but frankly that’s outside the scope of this FAQ.  Instead, I’ll just suggest that you not be afraid to apply reason and critical thinking to your own beliefs.  See if what you believe or remember is both internally consistent and reasonably consistent with what we know about external reality.  Also don’t be afraid to challenge people on the claims they make.  Extraordinary claims, such as physical shapeshifting or being an undead/immortal vampire, require extraordinary evidence.  Being otherkin doesn’t mean you have to be so open-minded your brains fall out.

A good essay from the therian community on applying critical thinking to your beliefs may be found here.

Don’t share everything you know about yourself.

Holding some information back is a great way to verify what other people tell you.  If you’re comparing past-life memories with someone, hold a few details back.  Specific things that you will never share in a public setting.  Then, when talking with others who claim to remember the same things, see if they volunteer any of the things you’ve held back without prompting.

Similarly, hold some information back about what you know of your astral form.  Then, if someone else takes a look to “verify” things, you can see if they mention the parts you’ve held back and have a much clearer idea of whether they’re really looking at you astrally, or just telling you what you want to hear.

This technique is useful for external verification in many esoteric/spiritual contexts.

Don’t forget about safety.

The community isn’t all fun and games.  Like any online community, there are those who are out to manipulate you.  To use you. To hurt you.  It’s up to you to make sure they don’t get that chance.  Mostly, common sense is all you need here but some specific advice can be found in my own articles Warning Signs and Abusive Situations, as well as a therian community article also titled Warning Signs, a vampire community article titled Social Predators, and a vampire community article titled Sociopaths.  If you’re planning to join an organization you may also want to evaluate it with the Advanced Bonewits’ Cult Danger Evaluation Frame, though the frame is subjective and with many cults you may not have the information to effectively evaluate it until you’re already a member.  Another good article on joining groups can be found here.

There were also a few articles linked to in the Face to Face section of this FAQ, on the specific safety concerns that apply when meeting someone from online face to face so you may want to go back and read them if you haven’t already.

It’s also important to stay safe in terms of your health. If you’re having unusual physical symptoms, check with a doctor first before deciding it has a spiritual or metaphysical cause.  Not everything is connected with being otherkin.  SphynxCat has a very good overview of various health issues and medical concerns for members of the vampire community here, and she also has a good section on safety when feeding on blood here.  And links to more information which can be found elsewhere.

Don’t set out to change the world (or the community).

It’s natural to want to contribute, to make a difference.  I think everyone feels that way.  But if you’re just starting out in the community, you’re probably not in a position to do much to help others.  If you have existing areas of expertise, feel free to use them, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you’ve become an instant expert on otherkin because you happen to be one.  Don’t start out trying to create massive community projects, organizations, or the like.  Get involved with the ones that are already out there.  See what you can add to them by just providing a fresh perspective and another set of eyes.  You’ll be a lot more effective that way, and you’ll build credibility with those who are paying attention.  And when the time comes for you to give back to the community, and start your own projects and groups, they’ll be much more likely to support you in turn.

Another essay of mine which deals with this topic can be found here.

Don’t let it go to your head.

You’re not immortal.  You’re not royalty in this life.  You’re not even special, just because you’re otherkin.  You’re just different.  So don’t let it go to your head.  Don’t fall into fantasies about some future date when the veil will fall, magic will become real, and there will be a war between humans and otherkin.  Don’t fall into delusions of constant astral battles.  Don’t mistake fantasy and wish-fulfillment for resonance.  In short?  Otherkin are just as human as everyone else.  Hold onto that, it keeps you grounded.

It’s worth it.

There are many things about being otherkin, and about being part of the otherkin community, that will drive you crazy.  There’ll be days when you wake up and you’ll wish you’d never heard of otherkin, wish you were normal, wish you could just forget about it all.  But if you are otherkin, and you hang in there and find those you resonate deeply with, those who really understand you, those you may have known in other lives. If you can find those you can consider your spiritual family, in this life.  Then, I promise, it’ll all have been worth it.  I know it has been for me.

Additional Resources

Community History

Otherkin Timeline: The Recent History of Elfin, Fae, and Animal People

The Elf Queen’s Daughters and the Silver Elves

Foundation’s Edge: The History of the Online Werecommunity

Unofficial Alt.Horror.Werewolves Archive

How did the Shifter/Were/Therian Movement Start?

The Real Vampire Community’s Early Days

The Online Vampire Community Takes Off

The “Psivamp Revolution” and Its Aftermath

The Beginning To The Present Time (Vampire Community)

FAQs

General Otherkin

Otherkin FAQ v 4.0.1

Otherkin and Awakening FAQ v 3.0 Beta

Otherkin.net Wiki FAQ

Otherkin Alliance Otherkin FAQ

Feathertail’s Otherkin FAQ

So… You’re Awake?

Dragonkin

Draconity FAQ

Draconic FAQ

Elfkin

Elenari FAQ

Otherkin Hosts/Multiples

Otherkin Multiple FAQ Beta

Therians

Therianthropy FAQ

Contherianthropy FAQ

Vampires

Sphynxcat’s Real Vampire FAQs

Further Reading

The Otherkin and Therianthrope Book-List

A Directory of Otherkin Writings and Other Works, Organized by Topic

The Were Directory

Resource Sites

Dreamhart.org

Otherkin.net

Starlight Infinities

Sanguinarius.org

SphynxCat’s Real Vampires Support Page

Weresource.org

Werelist.net

Draconic.com

Draconity.org

For more information, or to join the list, click here.

So, after a long hiatus, I’m very pleased to announce the re-creation of the Straight Tracks Webring.

Nor is the new hosting situation the only change with the webring.  While I’d still like to see high-quality otherkin sites joining it, what I’m hoping this ring will do is connect otherkin community resources the way the old straight tracks or “ley lines” connected many ancient sites.

It is my hope that these straight tracks will prove as magical as their namesakes, and help bridge the gaps that have sprung up in our community, making it easier to connect with one another again.

If you’ve got an Otherkin website and would like to join the Straight Tracks Webring, just click here.

Also, if you own an otherkin or magical webring that isn’t hosted on ringsurf.org or webring.com, please let me know about it.  I am interested in joining other webrings as well.

What is Attunement?

Attunement is an act of energywork that allows you to connect to and attract specific types or “frequencies” of subtle energy.  In many ways, it’s similar to how your radio can “tune in” to specific radio stations.  Just as tuning into 101.7 on your radio may bring you classic rock to listen to, attuning yourself to fire or water is a way of bringing out those elemental energies to work with.

Attunements are sometimes also referred to as “energy initiations” or “empowerments”, because they are often used by people experienced in working with a certain type of energy to introduce new people to that energy.  This is frequently confused, as in the popular attunements of Western Reiki, with bestowing an ability to work with that energy^,.  However, the ability was always there… you simply hadn’t learned to tune into that “frequency” of energy yet.  Time and experimentation have shown self-attunement to be equally effective^,,.

How Do You Attune?

Close your eyes.  Imagine yourself surrounded by a vast ocean of the energy you would like to attune yourself to. Imagine this ocean as your whole world, your whole universe.  Slowly breathe in and out, imagining the energy flowing into you with each breath, breathing it in through your mouth and lungs, letting it fill you, swirl around inside you, and permeate your entire being, imprinting itself within you.  Imagine the concentration of energy inside you increasing with each breath, until you are a beacon of the energy, radiating it back out into the ocean of energy from which it came in a blinding flare.  Then, slowly, bring your awareness back to your physical surroundings, holding onto the feeling of the energy filling you until you’re ready to let it go.  That’s all that’s really necessary for a basic attunement to any energy form.

It may also help, while visualizing the energy entering you and imprinting itself within you, to visualize symbols or even words connected with the energy imprinting themselves on you as well.  This could be anything from the alchemical symbol of fire (an upright triangle) to the mantra Cho-Ku-Rei, depending on what energies you are trying to connect with.  Just choose something appropriate to the energy you are working with.

Once you’ve been attuned to an energy, it’s much easier to access and work with it even without going through all the steps of attunement.  Having been in that state once, it’s familiar and easy for you to return to without needing visualization to guide you, though going through the process of visualization prior to working with any energy may help deepen your connection.  If you used symbols or mantras during your attunement process these may also help in reconnecting with the energies outside the context of attunement.

What Comes Next?

Attuning to Your Tools

As you continue to work with energy, you may start to collect tools.  Perhaps a wand or athame, if you go the ceremonial route.  Perhaps a piece of jewelry that you wear only during ritual.  Maybe even just a stone that carries a certain feel.  You can attune yourself to the energies of these specific objects, just as you would to more abstract energy forms.  Just close your eyes, hold the object in your hands, and let its energy fill you… each breath deepening your connection to the tool, deepening the resonance between you.  Let it imprint itself within you, as you have imprinted on it already through your use of it.  This connection, this intentional link, will help you call upon the energies of the tool even when it’s not physically present, should you need them.

Attuning Objects

Attunement isn’t a one way street, either.  Just as you can attune yourself to your ritual tools, you can attune ritual tools to various energies as well. For example, to attune a crystal to the energy of elemental fire: hold the crystal in your hands.  Close your eyes, and imagine an ocean of fire surrounding you and filling up the entire universe, as far as you can possibly imagine.  Slowly, raise the crystal up to eye level and imagine a swirling vortex of fire pouring down into it, filling it with flame, the crystal glowing brighter and brighter as the energy concentrates within it, the fire imprinting itself deep inside the crystal, becoming part of its very essence.  It may help to imagine symbols accompanying the fire… perhaps the upright triangle that symbolizes fire in alchemy, perhaps Kenaz rune of the Elder Futhark, perhaps something more personal… and inscribing themselves into the crystal.  Finally, imagine a flare of fiery energy flashing out from the crystal, a sign that the imprint has taken and the attunement is sealed.  As it fades, allow yourself to become aware of your surroundings again, still feeling the new fiery energy of the crystal in your hands.

Attuning People

Before we get into this section, a word of caution: attuning people can be complicated.  Not in terms of the actual attunement process, but in terms of the human interactions it creates.  It’s very easy for a person receiving an attunement to come to the conclusion that the person attuning them is somehow more spiritually advanced than they are.  Such hero worship should generally be gently discouraged.  On the other hand, it’s equally possible for the person receiving an attunement to decide that they don’t like the person giving the attunement, and that the attunement is really an attempt to work harmful magic on them.  And those are just two possibilities, without going into the various ways in which people can react to the energy of the attunement itself (which of course vary depending on the types of energy involved).  My best advice is: tread carefully, and good luck.  And if anyone does become obsessively attached to you, either as a hero or an enemy, try to be a good sport about it.  They may grow out of that stage later, and feel awfully embarrassed.

The easiest way I know of attuning someone is adapted slightly from the process used in Imara Reiki.  Have the person sit in a comfortable chair.  Stand behind them, placing your hands on their head with their ears between your middle fingers and ring fingers and your thumbs meeting at the top of their head.  Close your eyes, and imagine again the ocean of energy surrounding you, of whatever type you intend to attune them to.  If you are including symbols or mantras, imagine them appearing as writing over top of the person’s head, written in glowing letters of concentrated energy, of the same type you are attuning them to.  Now, imagine a spinning vortex of energy coming down and going into the person, filling them until their entire being is glowing with energy.  Imagine the vortex carrying any symbols or mantras that you have imagined down into the person.  Imagine these symbols, and the energy itself, imprinting themselves deeply onto that person… as if they are becoming a part of them.  In reality they already were, but this attunement will help awaken them to that fact.  Finally, imagine a flare of energy spilling from them, sealing the attunement.  The connection has been made, and the energy now issues from them.  Slowly, bring your awareness back to your surroundings, and check on the person being attuned.  They may need some food and water to help ground them, and it’s often a good idea to have them practice “running” whatever energy they’ve been attuned to… connecting with it on their own (you can use the self-attunement visualizations to help with this, or any symbols or mantras used during the attunement) and projecting it into various things.  If the energy is a healing energy like Reiki, this may include doing basic healing sessions for others.  If it’s an elemental energy, I’d recommend sticking with inanimate objects to start.

Wrapping Up

If it hasn’t become obvious by now, I’ve placed attunement here as the third technique of basic energywork for a simple reason: attunement, at its core, is the process by which we build connections with the various energies we work with.  Without such connections, one isn’t going to get very far manipulating energy.

Many systems of metaphysical study lead people through the experience of a connection with energy without discussing the actual processes that are taking place until the student is more advanced.  For instance, in Western Usui Reiki as popularized by Hawayo Takata, the student receives attunements in levels 1 and 2, but only in level 3 (or 3b, depending on the school) are they generally given information about attuning others or what attunement really involves in an energetic level.  Likewise, in other esoteric traditions, neophytes are initiated and in the process symbols are placed within the candidates aura to help connect them with certain energies but information about performing initiations is reserved for higher grades^,.  I’ve chosen instead to make these connections explicit, in the hopes that consciously working with them will allow the seeker both a deeper understanding of the processes involved, and a deeper connection to the energies with which they are working.

I’ve also provided this information as an aide to anyone who may find that they already have a built-in connection to a certain type of energy.  Not all attunements or initiations are the work of human hands; some are worked by entities seen variously as gods, angels, or spirits and some are spontaneous developments that can occur in the heart and mind of any seeker when they’ve reached a certain point in their development all on their own.

As always, if you find more ways to attune yourself (or objects, or other people) or more techniques for taking the process of attunement further, please feel free to share your findings in the comments section.  The next article in this series will be on Thoughtforms.

What is Grounding?

Next to centering, grounding is one of the most fundamental acts of energywork.  It’s used to discharge excess or negative energies safely, and also to replenish your energy if you’re feeling a little low.  Staying grounded also helps one to be fully present in their body, and aware of what is going on around them in the present moment.  If your mind is wandering and you’re metaphorically “off in the clouds somewhere” or otherwise off-kilter, that’s a strong sign that you may need to ground. Grounding, in most cases, is exactly what it sounds like: connecting to the Earth, and sending any excess or negative energy down into the ground to be absorbed by the planet, then taking in fresh energy to replenish yourself, repeating the cycle until you feel pleasantly energized but not “bursting” with energy.

How do you Ground?

A Basic Technique for Grounding

As with centering, there are many techniques available for grounding.  One of the simplest, and the most commonly used, is to visualize oneself as a tree.  Even kids can do this one.  Just close your eyes, perhaps take a moment to center yourself, and imagine yourself becoming a tree. Feel your roots extending deep into the earth, connecting and anchoring you to the planet itself.  Feel the strength of the earth, the stability as it supports you, nourishes you.  Feel yourself releasing any negative energy to sink down and be absorbed by the earth, while taking in fresh new energy through your roots.  Continue the visualization for as long as you like, cycling energy back and forth, until you feel stable… energized, but not overflowing with energy, fully present in your body in the here-and-now.  Other visualizations are also possible… you could visualize yourself as a mountain, for instance, rather than a tree.

Physical Grounding

Visualizations aren’t the only way to ground.  There are a whole host of techniques for grounding excess energy that don’t require any conscious manipulation of your mental state.   These range from activities like physical exercise to simply eating something.  I’m a big fan of walking, myself, though make sure to stay hydrated.  Some people also find working with certain minerals aids in grounding^,.  Iron is one of the most traditional for this, though it isn’t exactly gentle about it.  Personally, I prefer copper if I’m going with a pure metal, unless I can get my hands on Bog Iron from New Jersey.  I’m also a big fan of a combination of iron pyrite and magnetite known in metaphysical circles as “Healer’s Gold”.  Other good stones for grounding include Moss Agate, Black Obsidian, Smokey Quartz, Staurolite, and Black Tourmaline.

What Comes Next?

Grounding in Other Elements

So far, this article has focused on grounding in the element of Earth.  But it’s equally possible to “ground” in any of the elements.  All of them have a physical component capable of anchoring one in the here-and-now, all of them have the capacity to receive and transform unwanted energies, and all of them have the capacity to help refill one’s energetic reserves.

The basic procedure for doing this is very similar to the exercises for grounding in Earth.  If you care to ground in Fire, you can visualize yourself as the heart of a flame, continually releasing energy and taking in new fuel, at once stable and yet always engaged in the act of transformation.  Equally, you could visualize yourself as a phoenix or a star, whatever imagery speaks to you.  If Water is more your style, you might imagine slowly sinking into the ocean and letting yourself dissolve into the foam, merging with the waters, letting them carry any unwanted energy away while at the same time replenishing you, the boundaries between yourself and the larger ocean murky and unclear until it is time to return again to a more tangible form.  For aficionados of Air, you might imagine simply letting a wind blow “through” you, carrying away what is unwanted and filling you up with its own energy.  All of these are equally valid, as are any other methods of reaching a stable “grounded” energetic state.  Nor are you limited to grounding yourself in classical Western elements… wood and metal from the eastern elemental system are just as valid, as are light and shadow.  If in doubt, experiment.  Try grounding in something and see if it works.  If it does, great.  If it doesn’t, try something else.

Wrapping Up

Grounding may seem fairly basic but without it it’s far too easy for someone working with subtle energies to become disconnected from physical reality, overloaded by more energy than their system can metabolize on its own, be impaired by negative energies, and overall simply become a less effective channel for energy.  I strongly recommend grounding both before and after any act of energywork.  During the working itself, it may be more appropriate to center without grounding.

As always, if you find any more ways to ground yourself, or any more techniques for taking grounding further, please feel free to share them in the comments section.  The next article in this series will be on Attunement.

What is Centering?

Centering is the single most fundamental act of energywork.  Grounding may be a close second, and the two are often talked about and even performed together as a single act, but I thought it might be useful to consider them separately.  There may well be times you will want to center yourself without grounding, though I admittedly can’t think of any times the reverse would be true.

Centering is literally a return to one’s center… a place of calm, balance, and focus within us.  It allows us to set aside stray thoughts and external influences, to still our minds, to marshal our energy and concentration, and to prepare a place to begin our Work.  This is the first step in almost any occult procedure, and one it’s helpful to return to during the course of most workings to keep the subtle energies you are manipulating focused for the task at hand.  If your thoughts get scattered, your energy gets scattered too.

How Do You Center?

A Basic Technique for Centering

Luckily, there are lots of techniques you can use to center yourself.  One of the easiest is simply to visualize yourself surrounded by a giant sphere of energy.  Imagine that energy contracting, pulling in until it is a thin shell around your body.  Then, imagine it contracting further, becoming a dense little ball inside of you at a point just below your belly button.  That’s one place you can center yourself, known as the low Dantian.   Hold it there as long as you want, just breathing in and out slowly, until you feel calm and focused.

Standing at the Crossroads

Another technique is to visualize two roads crossing in front of you.  At the center of the crossroads there is a large tree.  Imagine yourself going to sit at the base of the tree, your back against its trunk, the roads stretched out around you.  Cast your mind down each of the roads… one before you, one behind you, one to your left and one to your right.  Imagine what might be down each of them, then slowly allow your mind to return to the crossroads, to the center.  As time passes, allow yourself to become aware of a fourth road… the road formed by the tree… and allow your mind to follow its branches up into the sky, and its roots down into the earth.  Each time, slowly allow your mind to return to the crossroads, to the center.  Finally, become aware of the final road… the road within you.  Follow it to the heart of the crossroads.  Follow it to your center.

Centering with Breath

Still another technique relies on the breath.  Breathe in and out through the nose.  On each exhalation, exhale all the way out to completely clear the lungs.  Then slowly inhale, allowing your stomach to expand as you breath in and the air to settle in the deepest parts of your lungs. Hold it there for a few moments, then continue… breathing out completely, then slowly breathing in deeply so it feels almost like you’re inflating your belly.  Try to keep your chest relaxed while you’re doing this, it doesn’t need to expand along with your stomach.  When you have the hang of this, try visualizing a golden ball of energy growing in your lower Dantian, just below your belly button.  The ball is like a miniature sun inside you, and with each breath you take it grows brighter and brighter.

What comes next?

Obviously, you can mix and match any of the preceding exercises to create a method of centering which works for you.  You can also learn other methods of centering, whether through a google search for centering techniques or just experimenting and following your own intuition.  As long as you end up in a calm, centered state there really is no wrong way to get there.  But what if you want to take things a little further?  Centering may be basic, but there are some more advanced techniques associated with it.

Centering on Something

So far, we’ve taken a look at finding your center. Now, we’ll consider a method of working with that center, by focusing it on something specific.  One of the more common things to center oneself on is the divine, and this practice is often used to facilitate a direct connection with divinity.  To do this, follow the same steps as before to arrive at your center.  Once there, hold an image of the divine in your mind… even if that image is just a clear, pure light.  If other thoughts arise, acknowledge them and then set them aside if they are not relevant, and return your attention to the image.  If it helps, you can also mentally repeat a specific word over and over… perhaps simply “<insert your deity’s name here>”.  Do this as long as you like, and just listen and see what happens.

Centering on the Go

Centering oneself when you’re all by yourself and still and seated and comfortable is fairly easy.  But what about when you’re on the go?  Think you can center yourself while walking around, or in the middle of a traumatic situation?  You may not think you can, yet, but this is generally when you most need to.  Here’s a technique to get you started.  Whenever you become aware of not feeling centered in your daily life, it may be useful to take a few minutes to consciously do this, to create a habit of bringing oneself back to center that will then carry over even into extraordinary or traumatic situations.

Begin walking, at whatever speed is comfortable with you.  As you walk, slowly breath in and out, taking two or three steps as you inhale and then two or three steps as you exhale.  Allow the breath to go all the way down to your belly and push it out, just like the last exercise.  Then exhale completely, emptying your lungs, before starting the process over again.  Become aware of the sphere of light brightening in your Dantian as you walk and breathe.  Each step, each breath, makes it brighter.  Now, center your thoughts on an image of calm and peace held within that sphere of light.  Perhaps a simple scene from nature, perhaps the image you use to connect with divinity, perhaps just the word Peace and the feeling that goes with it.  Feel that image suffusing your center, till the combined energy overflows and runs down your body to your feet, still growing with each step, each breath, an endless inner fountain.  Imagine yourself leaving little puddles of this energy behind you with each step, little seeds of peace planted in the world.

Wrapping Up

Obviously there are many more ways to center, and many more things one can do with centering.  I strongly encourage anyone interested to look into it further.  Sources dealing with meditation may be a great deal of help, as centering lies as the heart of most forms of meditative practice.  If you find any more ways to center yourself, or any more techniques for working with your center, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

That’s about it for centering, and I hope you’ve found it useful.  The next article planned for this series will deal with Grounding.

After a great deal of struggling, I’m pleased to announce that Dreamhart.org now has a searchable directory listing for otherkin up and running. To add your information to it, first you have to register for the website. Then, edit your profile: you’ll find all of the Directory information in its own section, so you can choose exactly what you want to display. You’ll also find a radio box that lets you decide whether or not you want to display your information in the directory. I’ve made very very certain that if you check “Do Not Display”, your information will never show up in the directory by any means; not as part of regular display, not as part of search results, and not even if you type the user-id in by hand in the url for individual profiles.

I believe I’ve tested everything fairly thoroughly in the course of implementing this new system, but as always if you run into any bugs please let me know. Also, if you think any fields should be included that aren’t, let me know. I can’t guarantee that everything people want will be included (I don’t actually know how to program in PHP, I know just enough to be able to read and edit someone else’s code), but I may be able to work something out.

Edit: One other small thing, I’ve now added another option for people who want to be slightly more private about their data.  You can now set it to display only to logged-in users of this website.  I will warn that registration is open, and anyone can register, though.  It should prevent indexing by google and other search engines/bots, however.

Please note as well, privacy settings for the directory do not affect visibility of your profile on the forums.

Join the forum discussion on this post

Edit: We’ve had to move from Dalnet to Mibbit.net due to restrictions Dalnet places on the number of users who can connect through Mibbit clients. Anyone using the webclient should notice no real changes, anyone using their own IRC client should now direct themselves to irc.mibbit.net.

Edit: So, the widget for counting how many people were on the channel in IRC turned out to be unreliable. So far, I haven’t found a direct replacement for it, the best I can do at the moment is a count of how many people are using the mibbit widget to chat in the channel, rather than how many users are in the channel itself. I’m not sure that’s really useful, so my recommendation at the moment is if you care about how many people there are to chat with, sign onto the channel and check.

Join the forum discussion on this post

As always, let me know if you encounter any bugs, especially in the forums after this change. The css interactions were complex, and annoying. I think I’ve worked around all the major issues that came up, but I can’t be sure I’ve found everything just yet.

Join the forum discussion on this post

I’ve decided to make that entry public, and to republish my survey answers here. They have not been updated, these are my answers as they were six years ago, though I have modified the links of any resources referred to in order to point to their present locations. At some point, when I have time, I may write a second entry representing how I would respond to this survey if I took it again today.

1. Jarandhel Dreamsinger. Jarin, if you prefer the shorthand. 24 years old at the moment, I’ll be 25 in February 2006. Currently living in Arlington, VA near Ballston Commons Mall. Physically male. Don’t really identify with a specific gender, view gender as more fluid than that. Don’t really understand the question “Do you keep track of these things for any other life/existence/aspect?” but would happily answer it if clarified.

2. I identify as quite a few different types of nonhuman beings, to the point where listing information about each of them would be difficult. The primary one that I am public about is elven, from a world known as Alorya. Some refer to our type of elves as Eldari, though I don’t care for that term myself. We’re pretty much your typical tolkienesque elves. I believe this does manifest in my current body, in particular my eyes. I am entirely of european heritage to my knowledge, but have been mistaken by others as anything from chinese to native american; most recently I’ve been told I could pass for hispanic. Depending on the form I identify with most strongly at any given moment, I do sometimes experience phantom limb syndrome, and also at times a phantom sensation of clothing specific to a particular life other than my present one.

3. I generally work with my otherkin sides from the premise that they are past lives. This seems to fit, as I have explicit memories associated with them. However, I’ve also explored the possibility that the memories may be allegorical, or concurrent or even future incarnations. So far, the past life interpretation makes the most sense to me though.

3a. Yes, I remember things about most (I think all, but hesitate to be quite that certain when I haven’t gone through and catalogued them all) of my otherkin past lives. My culture varied by quite a bit depending on the life we’re referring to, as did what I was like. I remember being everything from a warrior to a young child training to be a healer, and I’d describe my personalities as markedly different, though there are recurring trends in different lives. The quality of the memories varies depending on the life, some are quite spotty while others have gotten very detailed over time. They almost always start out spotty at first. I’m not sure I understand what you mean by how consistent are the memories, could you clarify? The main means I’ve used to determine they’re not just products of my subconscious is if others remember the same thing. Among the kin I associate with, the tendency is to share partial information about a memory while holding things back and see if others mention remembering any of the things you’ve held back without prompting. I’ve had shared memories with quite a few people over the years.

4. What was my awakening like? You’re in luck, I’ve written a whole essay about that, plus it has a link to the essay I originally wrote when I entered the community, you can compare the differences in perspective for yourself. http://wanderingpaths.heliwood.org/articles/jarinawakening.html A lot has changed in my perspectives since my awakening, but I haven’t really doubted myself since sharing memories with others, and that happened fairly early on.

5. I’m not really sure how much being otherkin affects my everyday life. In the end, I think the question may be somewhat like how has being male or female affected your daily life. Unless you’ve had the experience of not being otherkin, how do you answer that? And not being awakened, in my book, is not the same as not being otherkin for purposes of this question, since even before I had memories of other lives I notice certain themes showing up in my poetry that at the time I was not even conscious of. Things that are clear references to some of my otherkin sides in retrospect. I feel fairly comfortable in the body I was born in, though I could do without the male pattern baldness and the slow metabolism. The environment is another story; I don’t feel that I will ever be truly comfortable in this culture. Though I’m not sure if that’s because I’m otherkin, or just sane in my approach to the world. Consumerism really doesn’t appeal to me that much; I do like buying things now and again but I’ve never seen shopping as something to do for its own sake. I don’t like seeing the world covered over in pavement and buildings to the degree it is. Things like that. Though, again, this is hardly a trait specific to otherkin and many humans share these same objections to modern society. It really doesn’t affect my choice of career or home so far as I know; I live in a normal house and am going to start school for a career in computer networking and security soon. As for the people I associate with? That’s harder to answer. I do have friends outside of the community, but my closest and most enduring friendships have been with otherkin, and the majority of my friends are members of the otherkin community. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m otherkin, or just because I found a large concentration of people I like there, even if I had to hunt them out among a lot of others who weren’t even close to the same quality. Some people seem to sense something different about me; not animals, though, at least as far as I’ve noticed, though I’ve heard some stories from when I was very young that may show they have reacted to me oddly in the past. Apparently, when I was quite young (still in a stroller) and my mother took me for walks with her in the woods around our property, our cats would follow along with me and not stray away. People’s reactions have been more interesting… young children often seem to see something odd about me. I’ve had children in stores point at me and go “Mommy, look at those people!” (I’m a multiple, hosting one other person presently, though at the time I think I may have been hosting one or two more.) I’ve also had some interesting experiences with more spiritually aware individuals, though the most recent (and most interesting) of these was someone claiming to be a shaman whom I have never met who approached my mother in Minnesota and apparently made references to things about me and even referred to me by name though my mother claims not to have mentioned my name before he did. I’m still not entirely sure what to make of some of the things he reportedly told her about me and about herself.

6. I’m really not sure how being otherkin has affected my spirituality or religion. Both my religious beliefs and my spiritual practices have evolved since my awakening, but I do not think that is because of the awakening itself. And though I have been influenced by individuals within the otherkin community, that has more to do with agreeing with their thoughts than them being otherkin. I do practice magic, but I can’t really say whether or not being otherkin is a factor in that beyond sometimes using past-life memories of techniques as inspiration, which humans with past-life memories of magical work could also do.

6a. I have participated in glamourbombing, though not for many years (the last time I glamourbombed was October 31, 1999). I think the best tools I used were gold and silver ink to write certain phrases and certain Reiki symbols related to true forms, clarity of sight, and so forth on bits of paper left in books in libraries and such.

7. Have you ever questioned your sanity? Of course. I believe that wondering if you’re crazy is a sign of sanity. The really crazy people are positive they’re sane. Has anyone else ever questioned your sanity? Yes, but I’m not sure it counts if done by obvious trolls on internet forums. How do you deal with either/both situations? For the former, usually I take a moment and remember that I’ve verified most of my memories with others who have independently had memories of the same events and places. For the latter, I simply ignore it, but then I’ve never had my sanity questioned by anyone who’s input on the subject I would actually value. Have you ever received therapy, voluntary or involuntary, due to being Otherkin? No. I’ve never felt that I’ve needed it.

8. I’m fairly open about being Otherkin. Most of my friends know, my parents know, my boyfriend knows; though I don’t go out of my way to advertise it to casual acquaintances or in forums where there is no reason to bring it up. The main people I’ve told that needed to react were my parents, most of the others were kin themselves, and it’s hard to tell how my parents reacted to it because I also dropped being bi, pagan, and poly on their heads all at the same time. They seem fine with it now though.

9. I know many otherkin, both in person and online. At this point in my life, the majority of my friends are members of the otherkin community. My impression of the otherkin community varies. The local one I’m quite impressed with, a number of very high quality people have managed to gather in this area. On a whole, though, I think the majority of people in the otherkin community are idiots, same as any other large group of people. In the otherkin community, I primarily blame that on the tendency for newly awakened kin to be relegated to certain lists that are separate from the main lists where a handful of more experienced (in some cases only slightly so) kin try to act as gurus. It’s one of the reasons that on Wanderingpaths I have encouraged newbies to participate and ask any questions they want, though the focus of the list is not specifically on Awakening. I’ve been to many otherkin gatherings. I’ve been to WtT 2 through 8 (1999-2005), as well as several mini-gatherings hosted by different people and of course Ri’s biweekly Open Study.

10. What advice do you have to people who suspect they may be Otherkin—or, for that matter, may aid me in making this a better book? I’m not even sure where to begin. I’ve learned a lot in the time I’ve been part of the otherkin community, and I’m still processing a lot of it and trying to put it into words and into practice. If there was just one thing I could say to them, though, I think it would be this: Awakening is a process, not an event. Realizing you’re not human, even finding memories, is just the beginning. Exploring your relationship with that which makes you Other can take a lifetime, or more. Don’t stagnate, don’t convince yourself you’ve already got it all figured out, and never stop working towards personal refinement. Or you might as well never have started to Awaken at all. Do you recommend any particular resources—books, websites, etc.? Otherkin.net is alright for a very basic overview, I guess. I prefer Rialian.com, generally. And of course, I’m working on my own website, http://wanderingpaths.heliwood.org Static websites in general, though, don’t have a lot. Mailing lists are a bit better; elven-realities on both yahoo and google groups is a very high quality list, and I think my own list Wanderingpaths@googlegroups.com is good as well. But they’re really best for meeting people you can talk with elsewhere, I think. AIM, Livejournal, private email, and of course gathers and minigathers. Ultimately, I think I’d end up referring newbies who struck me as honest seekers to specific people more than specific resources, though I might mention the general sites and lists as well if they weren’t already familiar with them.

11. Do you have anything else you’d like to add? Nothing I haven’t already shared with you on AIM or LJ.

12. (Clarification of a portion of Question #1) As in, do you know the sex/gender/etc of other lives/existences/aspects/etc.

Yes, I do. My elven life, which as I mentioned before is the main one I’m public about, was male. That’s actually the life I’ve taken the name Jarandhel from, and it still seems to fit me rather nicely. Dreamsinger, however, is not from that life; it’s more descriptive. I’d estimate my age in that life somewhere between 16 and 20, I think probably around 17 or 18. (Speaking, of course, in equivalent human age and judging by apparent physical maturity as I’m not sure how days and years there match up to days and years here) Though that is presently just the age it was at the last point that I recall; I may have grown up there afterwards, or something may have happened to me, I’m just not sure. I had thought once before that I died at a certain point in my memories where they seemed to just abruptly stop, but I’ve had memories since then that seem to be after that point and have been corroborated by others who were there, so that interpretation seems to have been in error.

I believe I was bisexual in that life, as I recall being attracted to Arhuaine from a young age (elves of my culture do not seem to have the incest taboo), but as far as I currently recall my only actual romantic encounters in that life involved other males. Probably had a fluid view of gender in that life as well, as I specifically recall shifting into a female form at times. (My particular family had an inherited gift for shapeshifting.)